Okay, looks like I've got billions of things to apologize for. I'm not a big fan of apologies, especially in this case, when none of what I did was wrong. But, since I am living in the real world and not in my mind, and since I am no hippie (so that excuse is taken), and since this is the conventional society that seems to demand an excuse for every single accidental laughter that breaks the silence, here's my excuse for it all: I'm alive and young and careless so all I breathe and all my heart beats for are exactly those moments of "tipsyness" and smiles and long stares and hiccups and fights and peace-signs and angry middle-fingers and kisses and tugs and bites and truths and lies and laughter and repression and jumping and kicking and stumbling and bleeding and hugging and then finally falling asleep. The rest, my friend, is history.
Now if I've seriously offended anyone in doing any of that, well, no apology for you. Because I am sorry, deep inside - sorry you missed out on the fun; sorry you weren't able to see the cup half-full; sorry you were such a pain in the ass. Because hey, after living a life like mine and reaching that point when you're so happy you couldn't care less, apologies start to look a little... morose. And that's the last thing I care about at the moment.
I feel like this is the never ending climax of the whole thing - I've done all I had to do in order to get smart enough for life (from being the best student in the class, to hanging out with all the wrong people, to getting into all the colleges I wanted, to taking a pole dancing course in Vegas, to letting it all go in New Year's, to starting over for the millionth time, to a backpacking trip all over Europe...) and now I can allow myself to actually play around with it. With life, I mean. And I do feel like walking the world, still, because that's what we're all here for. To play and to laugh and to walk the world and then die being able to leave a note with three words of triumph: "confesso que vivi".
Muchas gracias, Pablo Neruda. You're next on my list.
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