How to Just Say No (and this was not written by a mother or a shrink)

How to "Just" Say No

"Just" is a funny word because most of the times it refers to no small task and it is not fair at all. People say "just" at the scariest times, at the most stressful moment of their mediocre lives. Like "just tell him you love him" or "just pull the fucking trigger" or "just jump off the airplane because the parachute WILL work". And in case it doesn't, there's always the reserve.

But hey, "just" is not easy. "Just” is actually the hardest thing for me, especially when followed by the words "say no". I can't "just say no" and people think it is because I'm way too nice. But it's not because of that. Sometimes I think I'm not nice at all and I'm writing a whole new book to prove it. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, but then again, everyone's crazy. So I must be sane.

But back to the "just say no". How can I do it, can someone tell me? In this case I haven't got certain "toxics" in mind because I haven't got a problem with them. In this case, there's a certain person. A certain... boy? Man? I'm not sure.

Let's say there are two people. Two people, one of which is the most amazing person in the world for whom you have to wait just a little longer. And the other... well, the other just looks nice, I confess. Why, oh why do certain people have to look nice? SO nice? And why do they have it in them, in their bodies and in their words, to make you feel so good when you should actually feel nothing because he doesn’t deserve making you feel that way? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around? Like, the person for whom you’re waiting should be the one making you feel that way. Should.

“Should” is also a funny word. Like “just”. Most of the times it refers to something that is supposed to happen but for some reason doesn’t. And when I say “some reason” I mean “my stupidness”.

Oh well.

In any event, I “should” (just) apologize to that one person I’m supposed to wait for. It’s only a couple of days, I know, yet to me – the most impatient person in the world – two days is not two days. Two days is a lifetime or five. And then there’s always that doubt pinned to the back of my mind, similar to the one of the parachute and its reserve. What if he doesn’t open? I mean, what if he doesn’t come?

If he doesn’t come people will notice. People sitting in parties of at least two will look at and feel sorry for the one person sitting by herself in the entire bar. That won’t matter that much though, next to how the one person sitting by herself will feel. That person will think of all the things that could have happened and never did and feel sorry for herself. Then she will not be able to “just” say no to all the drinks being offered and to the undeserving man ever again. And then the world will end, because Global Warming’s sure to come, innit? Oh and I almost forgot; it will be a billion times worse (because “gazillion” doesn’t exist) because she knows every soul in the bar, including the singer. Especially the singer.

She will then hope the singer is not singing that sad, sad song for her and will get up and leave, escorted by the grimy hands of the undeserving man to whom she could never “just” say no.

See, “just” is actually an impossibility, along with “should”. And when they get together (like the girl and the undeserving man), the results are even more catastrophic. So I hope by then – by the end of these two days – I finally learn how to “just” say no, because I know that girl well enough to know that that’s what I “should” do.