Meaning of Life

I've finally figured it out. The meaning of life, I mean. Okay, maybe not as much the meaning, but the goal - what all of us are desperately aiming for.

All we want is attention. When we're born we cry for it. When we learn how to talk we demand it. When we become teenagers we expect it - and throw tantrums when we don't get it. This whole blog is, in several ways, all about attention too, so I'm not being self-righteous when I say this.

In fact, the whole reason behind today's shitty mood is my selfish desperation for just one second of everyone's attention on me - I just want some peace and quiet! I don't feel like dressing up to meet people's expectations, I don't feel like saying hi to this randomly annoying guy I don't even know just because I feel sorry for him, I don't feel like taking shit from a certain bratty girl who doesn't know the first thing about me, I don't feel like answering Magic 8 Ball's pathetically insistent message, I don't feel like listening to this other random guy brag about his new girlfriend (screw you serial monogamists for making my inability to commit feel inappropriate!), I don't feel like having to be the grown up while my mother runs off to the beach without a word, I don't feel like setting my Messenger status as 'invisible' just because this guy I don't feel like talking to is online, I don't feel like getting told I shouldn't get a new tattoo because I'm - quote - addicted, I don't feel like taking my Law teacher's crap about my 'restlessness and inability to focus', I don't feel like printing more recipes for my maid, I don't feel like job-hunting, I don't feel like calling her back, I don't feel like I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING A THING!

So no, I am NOT going to be a martyr and make everyone's lives easier by going down on my knees and offering them a bouquet of pretty pink attention. All I want is a cigarette, my guitar, the outdoors and the moon, and a blank mind. In the words of Lily Allen, 'fuck you very, very much'.

Good night!

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