Wednesday, July 10, 2013

High School Reunion

Reading this blog after so long is like returning to your birth city and finding it's become a ghost town. Contradictorily enough, it's not empty at all, but populated by the aforementioned ghosts - ghosts that had haunted you in person in the old days and that have morphed into monuments of sorts now, just lingering there stiffly as rock figures to remind you of how your life used to be. 

I must say, I did have a pretty cool life. I now talk about it with pride and every single detail of my past seems to build up the pedestal on which I now stand, head held high and a smile on my face. I used to worry so much about not being as alive as I wanted to and reading about my teenage adventures now is absolutely hilarious. 

I worried about being forgotten; I worried about not being enough. But based on the old comments I read on some of my most polemic topics only makes me realize that I was not nearly as much of a wallflower as I imagined. It's so weird to now look back and understand the mentality of the authors of the mean comments! It's so weird to read what I wrote back then and let out the widest range of reactions, from embarrassed to proud. It's so weird to be here again. 

I keep wondering what those people would think now. My journey through high school would have been a lot more interesting if I posted about my current adventures. If people thought my silly teenage stories were as wild as they did (based on their outraged comments), who knows what they would think about my life now! I guess I feel some sort of nostalgic love for my bullies. They were as innocent and scared as I was, I now notice. 

I also wonder if I should have left. Wordpress does have more than a few advantages, in my opinion, but rediscovering this has made me think twice. Might this be a first step towards a return?

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2 comments:

TalkingToxic said...

I've always loved your blog, it was the first one I read and followed when I joined this site. I've always connected with your posts, and there's no exception to this one. I think the past shapes who we are today, and it's good to look back on and appreciate what it's done for us and what doors it's opened up. Best of luck to you! :)

Free Flowers said...

Thanks for your comment! It's nice to hear from you again :)